Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Beauties With a Purpose

Dear Friends,

Allow me to tell you a secret. 25 years ago, I had the HOTS for my tuition teacher. I think her name was Florence Yong. She was this tall, sweet 20 something (She must be in her 50's now). She was really, 'YOUNG AND CRISPY'. If my memory serves me right, she had a pretty face with her hair always tied in a pony tail. What struck the boys among us, was when we found out that she was a titleholder of a Miss Malaysia contest at that time (in the early 1980s). No shit! We were being coached by a MISS MALAYSIA. I was so infatuated that I paid more attention during tuition classes. I looked forward going to tuition more than school. How she would play table tennis in her flare skirt with us, after class while we were waiting for transport home. She was my real beauty queen.

I have been appointed, I have really been APPOINTED. To be a judge. Not for the courts but for the land. The land of BEAUTY and POISE. Come this Friday, I will be one of the judges that will decide who amongst the 19 finalists of Miss World Malaysia 2009/2010 will represent our land in Johannesburg , South Africa.

I pledge to be a FAIR judge. With the 'power' invested in me, I will ensure that our Miss World Malaysia will not be 'exploding' into the rhythms of 'BOOMS' or befriending the 'RATS' when she feels NAUGHTY. I will ensure that she looks elegant when she is parading in her BIGINI but I will also remind her that BIGINI wrongly worn, she will be 'shooting down AWKWARD ROAD'. I will make sure that she will not be colour blind. She must be able to differentiate that in the Pantone colour chart, khaki is khaki and green is green.



What I will be sourcing for will be CONFIDENCE. While standing in front of the mirror every morning, a picture of PRIDE must be reflected. I shall detest OVER CONFIDENCE. If you look like Deborah Henry, then be proud and SAY SO. If you look like Camilla Parker Bowles , just smile with much 'HORSEPOWER' and say nothing. The ability to sing or dance will be advantageous. But, the choice of song is of importance. The 'TITANIC' song is a no-no. History will tell us that the vessel sank so CHOOSE-LAH something like the once controversial 'NEGARA-KUKU'. If you really can't sing, at least score some brownie points for patriotism.


I am looking forward to all these BEAUTIES WITH A PURPOSE. I have spoken my beliefs, so please come prepared. I shall endeavor to stick to the 'law' without allowing any of my 'FLORENCE YONG' emotions to change the interpretation of the pageant.
I am so proud to do BEAUTY NATIONAL SERVICE. If ever, I inadvertently select a 'RID-SECT LOW', find a canister and spray me dead.
P/S: After posting this awhile ago, I came across www.dailychilli.com
It was stated, "Miss Singapore World 2009 Ris Low has given up her throne.
This comes days after her past conviction for credit card fraud was exposed.
The organiser of the local beauty pageant, ERM World Marketing, said in a statement on Tuesday afternoon she will no longer represent Singapore at Miss World 2009 in South Africa.

1 comment:

Ken Wooi said...

the ris low news has been circulating all around.. i wonder how is she taking it.. lol..

and the miss malaysia participant.. hmm.. too thick face? =P

kenwooi.com