Kiasu-ism

Dear Friends,

The comments I have come across these days are, "Which island do they come from, why so authoritative? Why do they have no tact? The conclusion is, they may be having an inferiority complex. This could happen even to a man of status, successful, intelligent and still surrounded with loving friends. If a person gets into the habit of feeling inferior to others, then they can literally feel inferior about anything. This is linked to a sense of shame about not feeling up to mark.

People with inferiority complex tend to compensate for their feelings of inferiority by achieving elsewhere like excelling in their authority. They always have the need to achieve in order to compensate for their inferiority. One type of compensation is trying to act with superiority; by the way they speak, stressing on descriptions using their ranks and positions, they think and act as if they are superior to everyone else just to compensate their feelings of being inferior. This is also known as superiority complex.

The cause behind feeling inferior could be backdated to some past events especially during their growing up years. Having experienced these events, it has labeled them as inadequate or not worthy. Possible examples are being called names like stupid or lazy, being consciously and physically weaker than their peers, feeling ugly compared to their friends and in the case of the ladies - having smaller boobies compared to their competition. These could further lead to low self esteem which will result in being depressed, irritable and sometimes aggressive. They may also be more likely to have feelings of resentment, alienation and unhappiness.

They are likely to suffer from:

Hypercritical Attitude: They do not feel good about themselves and have trouble feeling good about others. They look hard for flaws and shortcomings of others by convincing themselves that they are not so bad after all.

Inappropriate Response to Flattery: They are desperate to hear good things about themselves and are constantly seeking compliments.

Tendency Towards Blaming: They project their perceived weaknesses onto others in order to lessen the pain of feeling inferior.

Feelings Of Persecution: They carry it into the extreme by blaming others. This extends to believing that others are seeking to ruin them.

Negative Feelings About Competition: They like to win games and contests every bit as anyone else. They tend to avoid such situations because deep down, they believe they cannot win.

Tendency Toward Seclusiveness and Timidity: They always believe that they are not as interesting or intelligent as others and they believe that others will feel the same way about them.

Sensitivity To Criticism: Although they know their shortcomings, they don't like others to point them out. They tend to perceive any form of criticism, regardless of how sensitively or constructively it is presented as a personal attack.

After acknowledging the root causes of this complexity, it must be overcome. Some methods that could be used are:

* Changing their thoughts by changing their negative self talk

* They are not to be blamed for the foolishness of others.

* Fix their corrupted self image.

* Remove the labels that they have acquired.

* Install new beliefs.

* Build their self confidence.

What they should know is that their current status in life has got nothing to do with them feeling inferior. A balanced person wouldn't feel inferior even if they have nothing in comparison to their peers. Inferiority is an internal feeling that comes due to internal factors not external ones. Fixing the inside is what should be done . Some people spend their lives collecting money, authority and power yet have an inferiority complex in spite all. Evidently, they are still suffering as they have not dealt with the root cause.
Remember, one does not need to use authority to compensate for their feelings of inferiority. They should make a conscious effort to pat themselves on the back for the things they do well.

Respect is earned and not demanded.