Beyond then Say-lah

Dear Friends,

So, Beyonce is coming after all. At least, up until now.
Her inaugural show here in Malaysia is scheduled on October 25, 2009 at the Bukit Jalil Indoor Stadium. I still remember back in 2007, this R&B star axed her concert in Malaysia in protest on some strict dress code over some 'Talibanic opposition religious' outcry.



These 'Morality Talibanias' I was told, were going to send a protest note to the authorities but they do not plan to disrupt the show. Simply said, "I BARK ONLY-LAH - WON'T BITE WAN". They also said that they were not against entertainment as long as it is within the framework of their culture and their 'Talibaniaism'. They further added that they were against Western sexy performances and they don't think Malaysians need that. "THANK YOU YOU-LAH", but do not speak on behalf of ALL Malaysians because I can decide what is immoral and what is not.

I really do not think that Beyonce is going to 'POP A NIPPLE OUT' knowing that her performance is in a moderate Muslim country. I believe she would want to come back and do a repeat performance and not want to run foul with our authorities. I feel Malaysians have come of age and we no longer have this third world mentality. Music and star concerts are part of globalisation and we should not continue to be some 'katak di bawah tempurung'. If in the coming concert, she really goes "BEYOND, then SAY-LAH". If this simple theory be not understood, "HOW-LAH" are we going to be Truly Asia? Our southern 'Kiasuland' would only be delighted to hijack all these 'SEXY' star performers and tell the world that they are the actual 'TRULY ASIA' and their northern neigbours 'TRULY KIASU'. We won't want to 'KANASAI' by them right? Luckily enough, the Hainanese Chicken Rice issue did not reach the Hague's International Court of Justice.

Star concerts are not just about songs and dances. Without the mini skirts, the tubes and the exposing of some 'flesh', we should just watch 'The Sound of Music'. Beyonce is an icon with fashion taste and restricting her is a real pity.

Let Beyonce perform in her finesse. Don't stop her from running and jumping around the stage. If we really want a Julie Andrews performance (even she was running and jumping around), we should just have a 'somebody' to stand in front of the microphone, open her mouth, sing and "I SAY YOU CANNOT MOVE AR!!".



With her, even the 'Talibanias' will protest. Over the hair, maybe?

Facts or Myths?

Dear Friends,
This Hari Raya, I was hoping for it to be somewhat 'One Malaysia'. Along the 'People First, Performance Now' notion; I was looking forward so much to a 'Ketupat First, Rendang Now' festivity but it was hampered. I had not one open house invite this year; either a diminishing popularity or vanishing Malay friends.

Bored to my bones, I decided to embark on a mission - 'Around the Mall in 180 minutes'. Destination - Sunway Pyramid Mall. www.sunway.com.my/pyramid The mall was sardine packed with visitors both young and old with accents from near and far. As I was walking about, I realised that without a competitive edge, retailers will not endure in this business. I released my Canon Isus 860IS from its holster and distinctly pursued a crash course in 'Retailing Competitiveness 101'. Enjoy my discoveries.

DISCOVERY 1
MYTH: We are always disguised outwardly for the others.

FACT: Only we know our naked truth.

DISCOVERY 2

MYTH: Doing more is perceived as being enterprising.

FACT: Constantly minding your own business is intelligence.
DISCOVERY 3

MYTH: Going slow and steady will win you the race FACT: In any race, it is either hero or zero.
DISCOVERY 4
MYTH: Fiery hotness equals goodness.

FACT: Uglyness equals demise. Looks does matter.
DISCOVERY 5
MYTH: A virgin's experience is always painful.

FACT: Practice makes perfect pleasure.
DISCOVERY 6
MYTH: Being hairy means being horny.

FACT: 'FCUK' is not vulgarism but a need.

DISCOVERY 7
MYTH: Flashing is a crime.

FACT: If you are cat cute, you could even lay a crocodile.
DISCOVERY 8
MYTH: Life is beautiful.
FACT: It is beautiful only if you have legs to kick ass.

DISCOVERY 9
MYTH: Being not 'good enough' is humility.

FACT: Being humble, you would be eaten alive.

DISCOVERY 10

MYTH: The truth always hurts.

FACT: Then repent, the Gospel message in John 3:16 says, "For GOD so loved the world, He gave his only begotten son..."

DISCOVERY 11

MYTH: Beauty + Boobies = Body Perfect

FACT: A perfect body means no implants and staying original.

DISCOVERY 12
MYTH: Dogs are not kosher (halal).

FACT: Being circumcised is.

By the way, 'ketupats' and 'rendangs' are still welcomed.

Talking Cock

Dear Friends,

I am partially Hainanese and my childhood years were mostly with my maternal grandma, who originated from Hainan Island, China. After my father's passing when I was seven, I spent weekdays at my 'Popo's house and would only return to my mum on the weekends.

Those were polar days. The old house was situated in a 'Hainanese enclave' in Old Town, Petaling Jaya. All the neighbours were Hainanese. We all spoke Hainanese. If I was screamed at by my 'Popo', the entire neighbourhood would know the transgressions I have committed because they understood.

One of the things that I grew up with was having chickens raised at the backyard. 'Popo' would purchase them as little chicks from the market and ingest them with corn feed and dried pounded bread until they were big enough to be our 'feed' on the dining table.

Until today, I still have the image in my head on the slaughtered chicken, blood dripping until it laid there motionless and lifeless. Then , it would be put through a 'hotbath' process in boiling hot water for the feathers to be stripped. All these for a luscious meal of 'HAINANESE CHICKEN RICE'.

The chicken is prepared in traditional Hainanese methods which involve the boiling of the entire chicken in a stock, reusing the broth over and over. This stock is not used for rice preparation, which instead involves chicken stock created specifically for that purpose, producing an oily flavourful rice. The Hainanese prefer using older and plumper birds to maximise the amount of oil extracted, thus creating a more flavourful dish. The bird is dipped in ice after cooking to produce a jelly-like skin finishing. The dish is usually served with several dips, including chilli sauce and pounded ginger. It is common in Hainan Island to also offer a third sauce involving oyster sauce mixed with garlic, while dark soy sauce is more commonly served in Malaysia and Singapore.

I also remember moisturising my hands making those chicken rice balls better known in Hainanese as 'Pui Cin'. My 'Popo' told me during her China times, the rice was originally shaped into balls because it needed to be kept warm from the time it was cooked (often earlier in the day) until mealtime. Eating 'Pui Cin' at my 'Popo's house was more a novelty than anything else.

In the newspaper this week, our beloved Tourism Minister was quoted as saying, "Chilli Crab is Malaysian. Hainanese Chicken Rice is Malaysian. We have to lay claim to our food”, unquote. She was clearly upset that 'OUR' food was being claimed by others, in this case Singapore. Needless to say how the Indonesians were upset when they claimed that Malaysia 'hijacked' their Bali Pendet dance. A little "do what you want others to do unto you" here?

Some points for consideration here, Auntie Yen. Did you know?

* Hainanese Chicken Rice is the 'national' dish of Singapore. During my former travels abroad for international trade shows, the Singapore trade delegation would always serve it as a delicacy during their 'Singapore Night' dinners. On the contrary with our 'Malaysian Night' dinners, we would be serving 'Satay' and other local Malaysian delicacies that I know are 'Truly Malaysian'.

* Hainanese Chicken Rice is also one of the few local dishes served on board Singapore Airlines flights. I have flown umpteen times with Malaysia Airlines and not once have I experienced 'flying chicks' in the Malaysian air.

* There are more Hainanese owned coffee shops and restaurants in Purvis Street and Seah Street, Singapore that serves the Chicken Rice compared to any other streets in Malaysia. But, in terms of our Ramadhan Bazaars, we win hands down. Singapore can't even come near.

Our learned Minister should forget her strategies of going about labelling 'Malaysian' dishes like the Hainanese Chicken Rice after identifying them. Hainanese Chicken Rice is 'discovered' to be a Singaporean original. We Malaysians should continue preaching about how good our 'Satays' or 'Lemangs' are and leave the Hainanese Chicken Rice to the respective 'ownership'.

Since we are at this topic of wanting to draw the line of what is others and what is ours; I would appreciate if measures are drawn to keep 'our people' from being 'their people'. In recent months, an honourable Singapore school, the ST. NICHOLAS GIRLS SCHOOL came to offer secondary education places, to deserving students where my daughter was studying. I am proud that Charmaine was chosen to be accessed as a deserving student. Being 'my' daughter, I reckoned she should be closer to me. The choice was made to pay for her education at a local private school here instead of earmarking her to receive 'free education' in Singapore. Which means; I was also declining the allowance that was to be given to Charmaine, by the Singapore government for living expenses should the offer be accepted (I am not going to regret this now :D). The draining of Malaysian brains by our smart intelligent neighbours should be managed, instead of who actually 'owns' the Hainanese Chicken Rice.

By the way, I heard the CEO of Singapore Airlines is actually Malaysian. So is their Traffic Chief in the Police Force. And also, the many heads at their Government Investment Corporation (GIC). Now, we should be claiming all that instead of all these 'TALKING COCK"!

Oops, I meant the adult male bird.

F1 or Effing One?

Dear Friends,

For those who knows me, will know that Motorsports is one of my passions. Fiery motorsports blood flows in my family. In the early 1970s, my dad was attached to Nissan. In his capacity, he was instrumental in developing the potency of a famed car racer at that time, Harvey Yap.

My brother, Eric Yeo is an occurrent champion in several saloon cars racing classes since the early 1990s.(Pictured above - Second from left) He has emerged champion in races for Proton cars, Malaysian Super Saloon Championship - racing a Honda Integra, Merdeka Millenium Races - racing a Nissan Skyline, Porsche Carrera Cup races in China and was also the champ at the Asian Festival of Speed in 2008 - racing in various Asian cities completing a full racing season. He also represented Malaysia at the prestigious Macau Grand Prix in 2008. Personally, I was also involved in varied rallying competitions in the mid 1990s and won second place, as co-driver for Team Mitsubishi Ralliart Malaysia, competing in the Singapore Rally in 1998.

In Formula One, I have always be a fervent supporter of the McLaren Mercedes team of Mika Hakkinen and David Coultard. During those years, it was real Formula One supremacy. The domination was so competitive between McLaren Mercedes and Ferrari's Michael Shumacher and Ruebens Barrichelo.

When I got word that Malaysia will be featuring our own F1 team to compete in the 2010 Formula One Championships, I was dumbfounded. Our own F1 team? 'Made in Malaysia'? The team will incorporate Proton who will be Lotus boosted, Air Asia and the Naza Group. This team will be based at the Sepang International Circuit (SIC) which makes it the first to be located outside Europe. I am still dumbfounded. Proton? "Get out of town"!! With difficulties like overheating, which consequence in damaged gearboxes for their Perdana V6 and prevailing distorted power windows in their Waja models, I guess basic fundamentals for real customer's satisfaction has taken a step back. Until that be addressed correctly, I could only imagine our 'Made in Malaysia' F1 car be classified as 'DNF' (Did Not Finish - in racing terminology) in most if not all the races telecast 'live' on Star Sports. Can we really compete alongside the giants of Ferrari, McLaren Mercedes or even Renault? As the saying goes, "Tepuk dada tanya selera".

It was also cited, that the intent of boasting our very own team in the coming F1 Championship is to raise our country's profile on the world stage.

Didn't this man on the far left of this picture try to do that?

Pitiful and wretched Alex Yoong, he had no sustenance at all for his drives with Minardi in 2001/2002. He had to personally raise funds for his racing passage into Formula One. (And, I thought racing drivers were paid to race?) But, we got 'partially' famous anyway; for the wrong reasons of either causing accidents in the races or the many of Alex's DNFs.

Our featured team at the F1 Championship for 2010, will be known as '1 Malaysia F1 Team'. A stimulating name. If I decode that correctly, it means that all will have equal opportunities. Now, we have the financial support of 'RAJU' of Air Asia and the technical support of 'AHMAD' of Proton; so it means we could have an 'AH MENG' as the driver. That being the case, why don't we consider this bloke? He is young, fast and has got guts to manoeuvre corners. Allow me to list down three reasons why I think TIMOTHY YEO should be considered as Malaysia's 'potential' F1 driver.

One: He is the current National Cadet Karting Champion in the 2008 Micromax Championships

Two: He is my nephew and he takes after his uncle's good looks (racing drivers are supposed to be good looking).

Three: He has rubbed shoulders with former F1 champion, Mika Hakkinen.

With that alliance, it will truly be a '1 Malaysia F1 Team'. I am so looking forward to cheering for my own 'Made in Malaysia' F1 team next year. Let us truly make this a proud moment for Malaysia and the F1 fraternity. The worse it can get, if nothing goes right will be; 'We really made it an EFFING ONE'.

'SERUMPUN'?

Dear Friends,

In recent weeks, much has been said between Malaysia and Indonesia. On the current tension, on Malaysian and Indonesian relations, following an outrage by some Indonesians accusing Malaysia of ‘stealing’ Indonesian culture, a sweep against Malaysian nationals done by a certain group of people in Jakarta was pathetic. The security of Malaysian nationals in Indonesia is at risk. A group of Indonesians who carried sharpened bamboo sticks and sought out Malaysians along Jalan Diponegoro, Jakarta, last September 8 in a “Sweep Malaysia” activity was uncalled for. The group claimed they were dissatisfied over the Indonesian government’s so-called soft stand against Malaysia over the alleged Malaysian ‘theft’ of the Balinese Pendet dance.

This was somewhat nostalgic. What happened recently happened to me back in 1997. I was an expatriate in Jakarta. I remember travelling in the car chauffeured by my then driver, Pak Suminta. We were driving along Jl. Gadjah Mada when suddenly we were stranded in a 'macet' or traffic jam. This was during the impending fall of the then President, Suharto. A group of unruly men and young boys had barricades on the two lane road narrowing it into one. Every car that passed their 'sentry' had to chant some religious verses before they would let through. I was anxious in the car as I was not their 'own kind'. Now I understand why most, if not all cars in Indonesia have fully tinted windows. This is to prevent outsiders from viewing the inside occupants, in case you may not be their 'own kind'. When our turn came, Pak Suminta alighted from the car and chanted the 'password' for clearance.

The ‘cultural’ disputes perhaps are unnecessary given the historical fact that Indonesia and Malaysia are two nations that share the same cultural roots. During those times, my colleagues and friends would always agree that between them and me, we were 'SERUMPUN'. We spoke 'Bahasa' even though most of the words that I used they didn't quite understand at times. I remember travelling in a Bluebird taxi. I was constantly telling the driver to 'pusing kiri' or 'pusing kanan' and he would chuckle. I was not amused only to be told later that 'pusing' (turn in Malaysian) in the Indonesian language is having a headache (kepala pusing). The correct saying was to 'belok'. So, even though we were 'SERUMPUN', we had our differences.

One of the 'cultures' of Indonesia that was 'acceptable' was most things were 'ATURABLE'. The word 'ATUR' means arranged; when put together, it literally means to be 'Arranged under the TABLE'. I remember that my drivers' license was 'arranged' for me by my employer without me having to even go to the Road Transport Department. I remember that when driving and if I was stopped by the cops, all I had to do was to flash my 'authority card' which was signed by a retired four star general in the Army. Thanks to my employer again. The card states, 'To allow the bearer to pass safely and without any hindrances'. It was like a 'license to kill' so to speak. I remember upon my arrival at the airport from any of my travels, I would be escorted from the aircraft right through immigration, through customs, all in a jiffy. No need to queue, no hassles with my passport and luggages brought to me at the arrival hall. This is what 'ATURABLE' means, all arranged under the table; for a small fee of course. I had employers who ensured that we were protected against bureaucracy from the authorities.

Where I used to work - Omni Batavia Hotel, Jakarta

Life as an expatriate in Indonesia was exhilarating. I enjoyed weekends in Bali. I enjoyed Sundanese meals at the Pondok Laguna restaurant. I enjoyed chilling out at the Pit Stop, Sari Pan Pacific. I enjoyed golfing at the Karawaci Golf and Country Club. I enjoyed karaoking at the Hai Lai Executive Club. I enjoyed grocery shopping at Sogo. I enjoyed having a haircut at Rudy Hardisuwarno. I enjoyed the cool air at the peak of Punchak. I enjoyed buying designer wear at Plaza Indonesia. I enjoyed drinking 'Bir Itam' with 'Kraeteng Daeng'. I enjoyed eating 'Nasi Padang' at Sari Ratu. I enjoyed 'Mie Bakso' at Bakmi Gadjah Mada. What more is there not to enjoy?

I was also toughened by an earthquake there. I was in my office when I suddenly felt nausea. My desk slided a little to the side and everyone was evacuating. This naive Malaysian joined them in the evacuation, only having to run up again realising that I left my mobile phone in the office. When I asked them what was the commotion about, they replied with much cheer, 'Gempa Pak' (Earthquake, Sir).

'Gempa'? We are blessed from that here in Malaysia. And no, I don't agree in paying maids the suggested wage of a minimum RM 800 by your government. We maybe 'SERUMPUN' but we really do have a lot of differences.

Boobie Traps

Dear Friends,

Kiwi researchers have found that 80 per cent of men glance at a woman's chest before looking anywhere else and they look at breasts longer than any other body part.

Researchers at the University of Wellington believe men look at breasts because they are physically pleasing on the eye, regardless of the size.

Amazingly, less than 20 per cent of men look at the female face before scanning other areas of her body.

The study also found that guys began to gaze at the “components of the hourglass figure” within 0.2 seconds and there were only a few glances directed at the arms, face, lower legs and feet.

Subjects tested were presented with six images of the same woman, digitally altered to increase or decrease the size of her bust, waist and hips.

What part of the body do you look at first?

It Was Never Them But YOU!

Dear Friends,

The video you have just watched says it all.

Why is is never ourselves but it is always "the others"? Today is a reflection Sunday. Following my previous post, I started to ponder on individual habits on why certain people are the way they are.

When shit hits the ceiling, it will always be "the others' " fault. Not vividly, I can still remember all the quaint of her. When the budget is not met, it will always be, "It is the sales people, they are not doing enough". When group arrivals are not produced despite all the overseas travelling, it will always be, "Our overseas sales agents are sleeping". Mind you, if those are genuine reasons, then what are you doing about it? You are the Shepherd of the flock, for crying out loud! Another one I 'like', is how our Creator is always brought into the discussions; "GOD will guide me and help me from hereon, whatever I do is done for His glory"..."I always do them for the company and not for me"..."I have always worked from the heart and not the head". Wow, if these are anything to live by, then I proclaim you the working SAINT. The next 'National Workers Day' event on May 1, an award of excellence must be bestowed upon you.

People who behave like this have only themselves to blame. It could be due to their upbringing, experiences in life - bitter or sweet which have moulded them to their being. They like to be portrayed as experienced, perfect, over glorified and indispensable. The truth is they are living in a pretentious shell, constantly hiding behind a wall of shame - camouflaged in the name of 'perfectionism'. Their negative consequences of perfectionism could be seen in these signs:

Low Self Esteem - Because they never feel good enough about their own personal performances.

Pessimism - Since they are convinced that it will be extremely difficult to achieve an ideal goal, they can easily become discouraged.

Rigidity - Needing to have everything in their life perfect can lead them to an extreme case of being inflexible, non-spontaneous and rigid.

Obsessiveness - Being in need of an excessive amount of order, pattern or structure in life can lead them to become finicky or obsessive in an effort to maintain a certain order.

Lack of motivation - Believing that the goal of change will never be able to be ideally or perfectly achieved can often give them a lack of motivation to attempt change in the first place, or to persevere if change has already begun.

Lack of belief in self - Knowing that one will never be able to achieve an idyllic goal can lead them to lose the belief that they will ever be able to improve their life significantly.

Sounds like someone we know already? How do we help them? We can only encourage them to be open to the idea that they will be successful in their efforts to change, even if they are not "first," "the best," "the model," "the star pupil," "the exemplar" or "the finest". An example would be, "Why feel inferior if the house you are staying in is not as posh as your colleague's?" They must learn to love themselves and to believe that they deserve good things.

The truth about personal change could be summed up by these mighty words of wisdom.

Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye - THE BIBLE - Matthew 7:5

To conquer others need strength; To conquer oneself is harder - TAO TE CHING, Chapter 33

Conquer your own mind and you conquer the world - GURU NANAK (SGGS, page 6)

Verily never will GOD change the fate of a people until they change it themselves. QURAN 13:11

Though one should conquer a million men in battlefield, yet he, indeed, is the noblest victor who has conquered himself - THE BUDDHA (Dhammapada 103)

All our actions come from within. The external forces may have an effect on our thinking and feelings. But, the willingness to respond comes from ourselves.

It was never 'Them' but YOU!